Archdiocese hosts event for all who accompany LGBTQ+ youth in pastoral ministry

“If you want to teach young people, first you must love them. You must love them all equally.” – Saint Marcellin Champagnat

The Catechetical Office for the Archdiocese of Newark recently hosted The Gathering; an event focused on ministering to LGBTQ+ youth with courage and sensitivity. 

The presentation is just one response from the Church to the recent Synod on Synodality report, which found that LGBTQ+ people felt especially ostracized from the Church. Additionally, many participants “voiced their strong interest in reaching out and welcoming all to the Church, regardless of age, cultural background, state in life, sexual identity, or economic or legal status,” the report stated.

The event featured renowned speaker Roy Petitfils, LPC, Catholic author, minister, teacher, school administrator, school counselor, and psychotherapist in private practice. His book, turned Tedx Talk, is entitled “What Teens Want You to Know (But Won’t Tell You),” which gives voice to ten things Petitfils says young people want adults to know about them, but won’t tell them.

The event also comes at a time when the National Advisory Council, an advisory committee called upon by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops this fall to develop “practical and pastoral guidance on gender dysphoria to help laypeople and clergy in their ministries in parishes, schools, and other settings,” according to a Nov. 8 report by Catholic News Service. 

According to the staff of the Catechetical Office, the event was open to all who accompany the faithful in parish ministries and Catholic schools.

“While catechists desire to carry out catechesis that faithfully expresses Catholic teaching, many also recognize that individuals who identify as LGBTQ+ often feel as though they are not welcome in the Church, and many times that equates to also feeling outside the reach of God's love and mercy,” said Patricia Rodriguez, Director of Catechetics. “Our hope in hosting this event was to provide an opportunity for participants to remain open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and to acquire the knowledge and skills necessary to convey the teachings of the Catholic Church in a way that is authentic, faithful, compassionate, and loving.”

One hundred people from around the Archdiocese registered to attend The Gathering, including parish volunteers, catechists, religious, Catholic school teachers, and school leaders from various ministries across the Archdiocese.

Participants told Petitfils that the most significant challenge and concern they face when ministering to LGBTQ+ youth is a lack of guidance on the best pastoral strategies for accompanying the child while maintaining theological integrity.

Barbara Dolan, Superintendent of Catholic Schools for the Archdiocese of Newark, who attended the presentation and participated in discussions, said the event was an opportunity for principals and teachers to develop a better understanding of the challenges experienced by LGBTQ+ youth and to discuss strategies for supporting and accompanying students and their families. 

“We want to make sure all students know they are loved by God and are welcome members of our faith community,” Dolan said.

After the group discussions, Petitfils began his presentation by identifying specific terms currently used by members of the LGBTQ+ community (such as lesbian, gay, trans, LGBTQ+, nonbinary, and pronouns) and how teens use these terms to identify themselves. Drawing from his extensive experience with teens, Petitfils provided valuable insight into the importance of handling this issue with sensitivity and compassion. He encouraged those in catechetical ministry to use their personal and professional judgment to determine when it would be appropriate to use a child’s preferred name or pronouns. When possible, Petitfils advised participants to use a child’s preferred name and pronouns, with parental permission, to protect youth from experiencing mental health crises or committing suicide.

Then, participants received a quick review of the Church’s teaching on sexuality, gender, and the divine purpose of marriage. 

According to the USCCB, “All that the Catholic Church teaches about human love and sexuality comes from this truth: that God, who is love, created all people in his image—male and female he created them—to share his love and therefore to reflect his love in the world and in their lives.” 
The Church also teaches that God created marriage with the divine purpose that “that man and woman would be joined in such a way as to help each other to grow in holiness and to protect and nurture new life in their sacred relationship.”

In 2006, the USCCB developed the “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination: Guidelines for Pastoral Care,” which states that while secular views of sexuality in general, and of homosexuality in particular, are not in accord with God’s purpose and plan for human sexuality, persons with a homosexual inclination “must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity.” The Church calls those with same-sex attraction to a life of chastity, a special virtue to which all people, whether married or single, are called.

Petitfils said pastoral responses to LGBTQ+ youth should “focus less on rules” and more on “all the good that Christianity has to offer today’s youth.” When ministering to them, approach ministries with both “compassion and pastoral sensitivity,” he said.

Petitfils emphasized that for today’s youth to want to believe in and follow Christ, they must first be shown the joy and freedom they can achieve by living like Him. He said that Jesus did not come to make things perfect, but rather to reveal that happiness and freedom can be found in Him, despite human weakness. “He came to free the captives. He came to give hope. He came to show people a lifestyle that would bring them long-lasting joy.”

The presentation also emphasized the mental health crises afflicting today’s youth. According to the presentation, suicide is the second leading cause of death, behind homicide, among young people aged 10 to 24. LGBTQ+ teens are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers. Petitfils encouraged participants to approach these youth from a place of Christian love, respect, and compassion, embracing them as individuals and forging interpersonal relationships that transcend beyond discussions of sexual or gender identity. 

Pope Francis said that the “ministers of the church must be ministers of mercy” above all in a 2013 interview with America Magazine. 

“The church sometimes has locked itself up in small things, in small-minded rules,” Pope Francis said.“The most important thing is the first proclamation: Jesus Christ has saved you. …The confessor, for example, is always in danger of being either too much of a rigorist or too lax. Neither is merciful because neither of them really takes responsibility for the person. The rigorist washes his hands so that he leaves it to the commandment. The loose minister washes his hands by simply saying, ‘This is not a sin’ or something like that. In pastoral ministry, we must accompany people, and we must heal their wounds.”

The Pope’s call for Church leaders and those involved in catechetical ministry to focus on being pastors rather than rule enforcers was echoed in Petitfils’ presentation. Participants seemed to embrace the pastoral sentiments expressed in the presentation, and many expressed an appreciation for the open dialogue about the topic. 

Teachers and faith formation ministers attend a talk sponsored by the Archdiocese on ministering to LGBTQ+ youth. (Jessica Miano/Archdiocese of Newark)

Scott Becker, a teacher and campus minister at St. Joseph’s Regional High School, said he appreciated the presentation, ‘because it gave me the opportunity to reframe my approach to these topics as a theology teacher and campus minister.”

Becker also participates in the Archdiocese’s ECHO Graduate Service Program partnership with Notre Dame University’s McGrath Institute for Church Life. “One thing that stuck out to me was that young people require strong instruction on ethics so that they can develop a sturdy sense of morality and a stable worldview,” he said. “It was good to be reminded that while that is the case, as ministers, we must recognize that there are different contexts that call for different approaches. We must present the truth in a way and at a time that will be most helpful to those to whom we are ministering.”

Roy Petitfils is an internationally recognized expert in understanding and raising teenagers. He earned his M.A. in community and school Counseling from the University of Louisiana, Lafayette. He received his B.A. in liberal arts from St. Joseph Seminary College. He studied spirituality, theology, and ministry at the graduate level at the Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas in Rome, Italy.
 

---

Featured Photo: Roy Petitfils , LPC, leads The Gathering an event focused on Catholic ministering to LGBTQ+ youth with courage and sensitivity. (Jessica Miano/Archdiocese of Newark)